Daily Life · Relationships

The Influential Woman?

I had an interesting conversation some time ago. The gentleman who was a regular within the restaurant I managed. He made a point of telling me that women really don’t understand the amount of influence and power they have over men. It was interesting to hear such a thing from a man. It made me realize a few things. I have always known that women have had the power within the household to influence the mood and the direction of the household.

Lately, though, it seems as if women just don’t realize it. Let me help you all out, I’ve got only 3 points to this post, though I’m sure there are tons more out there.

  1. Attitude – Let’s start here. Ever heard the phrase “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”? Yep – you guessed it – it’s totally true. Think about it – how often was your mom upset and you or your family would bend heaven and earth to make her feel better? I don’t know about you, but when my mother was upset – my father would get wound up faster than anything. His world and ours revolved around my mothers attitude. There is no such thing as a woman having a bad day alone. Our attitudes influence everyone we are around. Think of that one woman you always want to be around. What does she have? I bet she wears a good attitude all the time.
  2. Body – This one seems superficial, even I have to admit it. It’s amazing though to watch men stumble over themselves when a decent looking woman pays attention to them. Here’s the thing – as a woman, you can control a lot when you wear the right stuff. I’m not talking about leaving nothing to imagination – dress decently. Show some self-respect. The men tend to follow suit. Show a little self-care, self-love, self-respect and the men reciprocate it. Well, at least the decent men do.
  3. Influence – This one is kind of all emcompassing. It sums up the idea of using body language, attitudes, but it also has one more. Women have this inexplicable ability to influence men’s ideas, opinions, and thoughts. I’m not saying we control them, not by any means. It’s simply that we – almost plant a seed of sorts. Most men who have wives are influenced by their thoughts and opinions. Anytime they don’t like someone – it influences their husbands.

At the end of the day, women have quite a bit of power. Start paying attention women to what you say and how you act. You have alot more influence than you realize.

 

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Share them with me!

Daily Life · Relationships · School tips · Work

Socially Acceptable?

Lately I’ve been thinking about social norms. Mainly because I was asked by a customer the other day what I think the biggest challenges facing women in the management workforce are. It’s a good question. Great actually. I really had to stop and think.

He and I continued to have a discussion about what the differences between men in management and women in management are. I’ve always enjoyed sociology and psychology when I take those classes. However the reality is that it doesn’t just permeate our society when it comes to management, it’s embedded into our thought process.

Gender stereotypes are weird when you think about them and heaven only knows when they started or where they came from. A great example: Pink is considered a feminine and girly color, while blue is considered a manly color. Interestingly enough these colors began as the opposite. Red was considered a manly color because it mimicked the color of blood and blue was considered feminine as it mimicked the color of flowers.

There have always been small gender stereotypes that we have allowed but the big ones are the ones I want to address today.

Guy Land – is a great example of how far we have allowed boys to fall within our society. Back when America was first being settled men were younger and more mature. They had to be. Now it is considered acceptable for men to stay in the mindset of drinking, partying, and having no responsibilities for a longer period of time. Many people love to watch the movie “Failure to Launch”. The reality is that it simply sums up what our society tolerates and calls “Men”. Like wise it’s become acceptable for people to say that if you cry, if you show any emotion besides anger, you are not a man – you are weak. However if you are a woman and you show anything like this – you are considered to be nothing more than a bitch.

It’s interesting to me how it is easier for men to get promotions, respect, and others never question their emotions in a situation or decision.

If you have ever heard the song “The Man” by Taylor Swift – you will understand what I mean. While I know society is changing and things are becoming better for women in the workforce, they are still very much opposed to women being in power. This song does a great job pointing out the differences between men and women.

Within our society it is thought that women are weaker due to being more emotional, though in all fairness i’m not sure that’s true. Society tells men to bottle their emotions – to be emotionally constipated. While a man might be considered being “strong and manly” by his friends for that, it makes it harder for women to relate to him. Yes there are times where it is nice, but lets be honest, people need relationships – they need to emotionally connect with each other. I’ve copied the lyrics for “The Man” by Taylor Swift and put them down below.

“I would be complex
I would be cool
They’d say I played the field before
I found someone to commit to
And that would be okay
For me to do
Every conquest I had made
Would make me more of a boss to you
I’d be a fearless leader
I’d be an alpha type
When everyone believes ya
What’s that like?
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man
They’d say I hustled
Put in the work
They wouldn’t shake their heads
And question how much of this I deserve
What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves
And we would toast to me, oh, let the players play
I’d be just like Leo, in Saint-Tropez
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man
What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars
And getting bitches and models?
And it’s all good if you’re bad
And it’s okay if you’re mad
If I was out flashin’ my dollas
I’d be a bitch, not a baller
They’d paint me out to be bad
So it’s okay that I’m mad”
The Man by Taylor Swift
Here’s my total ending – we all have stereotypes that are residual in our minds due to the way we have been raised. Society permeates everything. If you take anything away from this, learn to ask questions for why you do what you do and why you think what you think.
As Always – I would love to hear your feedback!

Books · Daily Life · School tips

Tips and Tricks to Reading Poetry

It has occurred to me today that reading poetry is a lost art. This comes to my mind as I’ve been happening to help my brother-in-law with an assignment he’s been writing. This assignment is based on poetry he’s read. So, for the student out there who is still trying to figure out that english assignment and has to read poetry here are some quick tips and tricks.

  1. Read slowly – The beauty of poetry is what the poet is trying to say and how they are trying to say it. Poets use fewer words but more imagery to get their point across, which is why it’s so hard to understand. Read it slowly and go line-by-line. Sometimes when you read a line – take a min to just think about it before chewing on the next one.
  2. Read it aloud by reading it aloud it will 1) force you to read more slowly and 2) force your brain to really process what you are absorbing. Sometimes even when you read slowly, your brain isn’t able to compute the line of poetry the same way it would when you read it aloud.
  3. Think about when the poet was writing – Many poets write about things that are unknown to us. If you are reading something written by Emily Dickenson make sure you keep in mind the time period she was writing in. It will make a difference in the interpretation. Many people who write – write from experience. Their experiences as men/women, differences in race, political standing, social/economical class color their writing and if you can read what they write while understanding where they are coming from – it will make it easier to understand (that doesn’t just apply to poetry – fyi).

Like I said – these are just a few tips and tricks that I have picked up via reading some poetry. Simply a few things that will help the “non-avid” poetry reader when it comes time to do that review. Take your time, read aloud, and do some research on the writer. It will all pay off in the end. I would recommend trying with “Anger” by Yusef Komunyakaa.

Daily Life · School tips

5 Easy Tips on How to Write a Great Essay!

Now, I’m not going to tell you that I’m an enlish major – because I’m not. I’m a nursing major, but I have written my fair share of essays and I have always gotten atleast a B+ or better on them by using these 5 tips:

  1. Brainstorm – even if it’s a prepicked topic from your college professor, brainstorm! Why? Because creativity is key. You need to stand out from the pack. Find a new way to put a spin on that topic that none of your classmates will think of! Use as much or as little paper as you need – do not limit yourself. Personally I enjoy using a Whiteboard – I can write and erase as needed and if it’s big enough – it makes a great way to step back and actually see it from a different angle – no pun intended.
  2. Outline –  I cannot stress this one enough! I have multiple friends who try to do it in one sit down and even when your brain is working at high power – it is almost impossible to do. Outline your paragraphs/main points all the way down to each sentence. This is especially important if you are new to writing in english. If people would do this then they would be able to sit down and write out an essay in a matter of 30 min.
  3. Watch your verbs – Always use strong verbs. When writing an essay do not use helping verbs. Use strong action verbs.
  4. Use your resources – People always think that they can do quotes and research off the internet. The internet is full of unreliable sources however. Use the library – it’s free, it has free resources – the librarians will be more then happy to point you in the write direction. Even alot of colleges have free libraries so if you are in highschool – start making use of the local college libraries.
  5. Check your self before you wreck yourself – Always proof read your essay atleast 3 times. The first time read it aloud – mark it up with a colored pen. Go do something else and then come back and read it a second time – silently. The third time – read it aloud again. The best way to find the errors in your writing is to read aloud. You get a sense of how your essay will sound outloud.

These are the best 5 tips I have to writing an excellent essay. While they won’t make it perfect they are my immediate go to’s anytime I have to write for college. I would also recommend getting into the right headspace to write – get a beverage, go to the bathroom before hand, turn on music that has no lyrics (like film scores). All of these will help your creativity flow and you to be able to sit for a while before you start writing. Any tips you would like to share? send them to me or leave a comment!