Daily Life · Family · Relationships

5 Of The Best Relationship Tips

Everybody has trouble with relationships. Most of the best movies or books revolve around this fact – interpersonal relationships.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that I haven’t had my share. I’m not perfect, I’ve failed miserably at times. I won’t lie to you – I’ve been divorced, in failed relationships, fights, remarried and still have battles.

Many people would say that this makes me inqualified to speak on relationships – why listen to someone who couldn’t do it right the first time? I’ll tell you something – something everyone knows but no one says aloud. The ones who failed the first times are the ones we listen to on a daily basis – they know what mistakes not to make.

Think about this – Humanity learned from people who made mistakes: 

Benjamin Franklin found electricity due to a failed attempt of putting a key to a kite.

Thomas Eddison – He had over 1000 unsuccessful tries at making a light bulb. He finally found one.

Amelia Earhart gave her life trying to fly across the atlantic and failed – other people learned, followed, and succeeded.

My point is – I may seem unqualified because of 1 unsuccessful attempt but learning and growing is part of my nature. It’s made me who I am. All this to say – I’ve learned what I’m about to share with you. 5 basic relationship tips to help you succeed.

  1. Not Every Battle is Worth Fighting –

Fighting takes a lot of energy. It drains you dry. I’ve learned that peace is better in my household. There are some battles that I will fight out right but most of them, if I sit quietly long enough, my husband will fight in his own mind. Sometimes it’s more worth it if I simply allow him to figure out he is wrong than blatently saying he is, please don’t misunderstand me – when he asks – I will honestly tell him what I think. This doesn’t mean that I need to vocalize it at every moment though. Save your energy – ask questions that prompt introspection from them and they will figure it out on their own.

2. Basic Respect – 

Everyone wants to be respected. Basic respect comes in several forms – some I’m still learning. Listening instead of talking over, not correcting in public, and following someone elses lead are great ways to show respect. Even when my husband is wrong and I know it – I try to listen and not talk over him. I try not to correct him in public – even in front of his own family, and when he directs me to something – I try to follow his lead (as long as it’s in a decent and correct direction). When he asks for my opinion in public I try to word it as politely as possible so that he can understand where I’m coming from and that I don’t agree with him.

3. Compromise – 

Life is compromise. Give and Take. Yin and Yang. Everything is about balance. When it comes to relationships – it’s important to compromise. Sometimes it’s about housework, sometimes it’s going out. For us it’s about purchases, items that we can enjoy outside of work. My husband encourages my good habits – blogging (I got my own domain last night!!!), I encourage his gaming or collecting of figurines. Everyone has their own hobbies and it’s important to find balance and make compromises so that each person gets to keep theirs.

4. They Only Get One Family-

This may seem strange but I’ve had two mother-in-laws in my life. The first, while I tried to be nice and respectful was a real trial for me. The second (My current mother-in-law) is a fair woman. She is my back up. Many times I don’t need to correct my husband because my MIL (Mother-in-law) does it for me. He listens to her far more avidly than he listens to me (not in a bad way) but she is his mother. Many times I can go to her with the problem I’m having with him and she will interceed and help him understand when I can’t. I try to encourage him to spend time with her and also with all his family. You only get one and then it’s over. Family is important and it’s important to keep those relationships up evern when you are married.

5. Stop Expecting…… – 

This is probably the best advice I can give to you – stop having expectations. Life isn’t built on them and you will only be disappointed. I had a revelation the other day when I was irritated with my hubby. I was mad but I was mad because he wasn’t acting the way I expected him to, he was acting the way he had always acted. At some point – you need to stop being irritated because the person is acting the way they always have and not conforming to what you want. It’s kind of freeing – they might grow and change but it won’t be through your expectations and when you stop expecting than you can start forgiving. Forgiving brings healing and healing brings you closer together.

Conclusion: 

I’m no expert. I have, however, found that these tips make all the difference. I have a happier, simpler marriage than some of the others I see. Following these steps and find a simpler form of living. Enjoy the relationships again and hey – if after practicing all these it still isn’t working – maybe it’s time to think about other things…. But that’s another post.

Have tips and tricks? Drop me a Note:

Daily Life · Family · Work

4 of The Best Housekeeping Products

I don’t know about the rest of the world but I barely have time for housekeeping. I work a job that demands the better part of 60 hours a week and I attend school for nursing. That being said, I am a busy woman. Besides having little time and energy for cleaning, I have little desire. I despise cleaning. Laundry, bathrooms, floors – I only clean when I’m irritated. That’s when my house is the cleanest.

Here are a few products that I have found that make it easier.

  1. Windex – Windex is a miracle cleaner. It’s something that will disinfect and make the house smell nice. It works on bathroom counter tops and is great for cleaning sink fixtures. This is a great way to make silver items, windows, mirrors, and the exterior of toilets shine. It also makes a great surface dusting agent but you have to be sure to spray it on a
  2. Toilet Bowl Cleaner – This is an obvious must have for a multitude of reasons. The first being because every toilet needs to be cleaned on the inside regularly. The second which is a trick I picked up for my mother, is that it cleans tubs fabulously! I severely dislike products like Scrubbing Bubbles – I find that they leave a ring around my tub. Toilet bowl cleaner however – Always removes stains and all sorts of rings. It also removes the grime and gritty feeling of the tub. I’ve never had to use anything more than a brush and the toilet cleaner.
  3. Lysol– Lysol really is the amazing. I use it to mop my floors and to white wash my cabinets. It always leaves my house smelling wonderful and removes all the stains. It also is great to use in the tub to leave it smelling fresh and clean.
  4. Dish Soap– This stuff is great. Not only is multipurpose but it’s also a great degreaser. I have used it for the traditional purpose of cleaning my dishes but I have also used it to clean my floors, degrease my stove top, and clean my fridge.

I have found that these products with a brush or cloth and some hot water have gone a long way. If used properly these products can increase the span that your house stays clean. Of course dusting is a regular issue due to weather but other than that – this will help you. If you have any product reviews – I would love to hear them, please fill out the form below.

*I have also found that there are some simple tips to using them. Tune in next time to hear those. *

Daily Life · Family · Reviews

7 of the Best Clean Shows (UK)

You know what I love about UK (BBC) television? It’s always clean. Think about it – it might have adventure, it might be scary but it’s always clean. It’s refreshing to be able to watch a show that I love and not have to worry about nudity or adult graphics when kids are around. Even kids can watch them. That being said, I’ve compiled a list of the TV shows that I enjoy watching the most from BBC/PBS and that are available on Netflix or Amazon Prime.

  1. Downton Abbey
    • We have all seen it. It’s a great show. This one encompasses life during the early 1900’s in England. It shows us what it would have been like to live during that era. It really does a great job showing us the triumphs and pitfalls of what would have been available to each social class and being able to watch them navigate it is always interesting. This particular show is dramatic, family friendly, and intriguing.
  2. Land Girls
    • Placed in a slightly later timeframe than Downton Abbey – Land Girls does a great job showing how women contributed to the English economy during WWII. It follows 4 girls and their triumphs and failures throughout a year. While some go on to find love, others are faced with moral dilemmas, and some are filled it with anguish. I would classify this show as family friendly, historical, and dramatic.
  3. Call The Midwife – 
    • This show is easily one of my favorites. While the main character disappears after the first season or two – the show continues and it really gives a great insight into what nursing was like in the 1950’s. Surprisingly my grandmother was actually a nurse during that time frame in the US and when I ask her – she tells me the show is very accurate. This show upholds the ideals of the 1950’s house wife, morals, and conscience of England. Therefore, this show is classified as historically accurate, clean, and while pieces might be not child friendly, it is over all family friendly.
  4. Sherlock – 
    • I think we can all agree that Benedict Cumberbatch is an excellent actor. He and Martin Freeman have paired off in this riveting show to give us a great duo known as “Sherlock” and “Watson”. This show is not only interesting and excellent at holding a short attention span but is exciting and a family friendly detective show. Over all, the show does a great spin on a well-known classic book.
  5. Dr.Who- 
    • Firstly if you haven’t seen this show, put down your computer or phone and go watch it. This show happens to be one of my favorites. The beauty is that the main character is always changing (every season or two) and so does his companion. It’s a bit like James Bond – the constant change brings something new to the show and everyone has their own favorite. This is a great Sci-fi show that is clean, adventurous, and has a occassional twist in history. At times it’s just thrilling enough and each ending is different. It is a must watch.
  6. Great British Baking Show –
    • Who doesn’t love food? I’m a bit of a foodie, but baking is really my outlet. I enjoy watching this show because I always get new flavor ideas, learn more about baking, and it’s a comforting show for me. Unlike American competitions where each person is very mindful of their own interests, the contestants on The GBBS are very aware that everyone needs to finish. They show great sportsmanship and each person is helped to finish before presenting. It is an educational, clean, family friendly show that highlights what competition could be.
  7. Planet Earth- 
    • I love David Attenborough. The day he stops doing nature documentaries will be the saddest day of my life. His voice is soothing and he does a great job showing emotion when necessary. Not only are these shows clean and wholesome but they are educational and also informative. It is something every child could watch and every adult enjoy.

Over all – UK television has been producing clean and wholesome shows for a long time. I’ve been hard pressed to find anything coarse or inappropriate within their shows. I’m always looking for more so if you have a recommendation please leave a comment.

Daily Life · Family · Relationships · Uncategorized

Things You Should Never Say To a Person With Depression

After some intense weeks of experience – I want to share a few things that should never ever be uttered to a person with depression.

  1. It’s Not real – I want you to realize that while their depression might not seem real to you, to them it’s unbelievably real. They wake up and it stares them in the face. It’s so real it makes basic tasks like showering, making coffee, and eating almost impossible.
  2. Why are you unhappy, you have everything. Oh – this one is one of my favorites (JK). Depression doesn’t care if you live in a mansion or in a freaking cardboard box. It’s not about material items. It’s about being so overwhelmed by emotions or lack of that you can’t breathe – you can’t get past it.
  3. You didn’t let the love in. Yeah I’ve gotten this one. “Let the universe Love you.” Sorry to offend – I don’t believe in the universe. I believe in God. And secondly – depression has zip to do with “Letting the love in”. Think of being so numb that even if you wanted to you couldn’t feel a thing.

For the Christians –

  1. You aren’t walking with Christ. Firstly – how dare you assume what my relationship with Christ is like. Secondly – How dare you assume that because I’m not like you – I’m wrong, Can the foot mimic the hand?! Everyone has their cross to bear. I will give on the fact that occasionally it’s because someone isn’t walking with Christ but you better be dead on your feet certain that it isn’t medical before you open you mouth. Nothing is worse than someone elses ignorance making you feel totally crazy.

Sorry this post is so short. I hope it helps someone who has a friend that has depression. Best advice – when you have a friend with depression and they are having an episode – Just hold them tight. You don’t need to say anything – just hold them – it does more than you think.