I don’t have children. Don’t let that stop you from reading thought.
I’ve heard many people say that those who don’t have children shouldn’t have an opinion about parenting and the techniques utilized. They say that those who have no children know nothing. Let me be clear why I’m qualified for this post. I have 7 nieces and nephews, I have nannied for several years, I have grown up watching other peoples children and their parenting styles and I choose not to have children at this point in my life. I also believe that I’m qualified to speak on this topic because I choose not to have children.
I choose not to have children not because I dislike children but it’s a huge investment of time and money. It’s an investment that I’m not ready to make. People always say that someone who didn’t do what they did or the way the did it shouldn’t speak on an issue but there are many ways to do one thing. And just because someone failed at something the first time shouldn’t disqualify them. No one is perfect.
Many parents no longer teach their child to behave. There is no discipline. The issue with this is that then the child becomes an unreasonable little monster. You know what’s super funny to me, everytime I am around a child who won’t listen to their parents (provided I know the child) I will set a boundary for them. They never cross it with me. I have looked at children and told them “You will not get Ice Cream whine one more time.” It’s incredible – they clam right up and pause before they say anything more. I’m not saying that parents need to use force or they need to start spanking. What I’m talking about is basic discipline – there are consequences and rewards for every action.
Here are some ideas to get them started:
- Every action needs a CONSISTENT consequence.
- Every consequence must be reachable no matter where you are located.
- Every good deed needs to be noticed and praised or rewarded.
- Every reward must be tangible no matter where you are located.
It’s really very simple when you think about it. It’s similar to when you have to work, you show up late – there is a consequence. You work hard and do your job properly – you have a reward (maybe not right away but you still have a job and that is a reward).
The consequences can be something as simple as standing in the corner, or be as much as taking away something. But you have to do it every time. Without consistency, you cannot have respect, from either your child or other people.
Here’s the basic memo – the lack of parenting in the world has lead to an increase in entitled little monsters. Don’t add to the burdens of the world, take time to be a parent and actually invest in something that will stay with your children forever. Teach them to have manners and discipline.